Soon and Very Soon

My parents are coming. I'm SO excited!

Hannah and I went dancing again and it didn't go so well. From girls not shaving arm pits, to guys SANS deoderant smelling up a storm, we almost gagged and nearly died. I am a firm believer that if you want to get near me, JUST near me you need to:

A.) Shower
B.) Wear deoderant
C.) Refrain from staring

Dancing Criteria
A.) You must not stink
B.) You must not grab at anything other than my hand and only then if I have offered it
C.) My safety must be A, on your priority list.
D.) You must NOT be creepy

Of all the dances not one met all 4 criteria. None. Sadness. Seriously. I wanted to have a good time. I TRIED really hard. So did Hannah. Instead Hannah was attacked by a Democrat and I was verbally assaulted by an athiest during a Waltz.

Last time it was fun, this time it felt more like men swinging women around. No, I felt like I was flailing around and the guys took great delight in this. One such guy wearing Duct Tape for shoes sent me flying and off flew my earing. Seriously!?

At one point in the night I was SO tired and I just wanted to sit when this SUPER ULTRA EAGER guy came and asked me if I had a partner yet. I glanced at him, saw the open veranda and told him that I needed to sit this one out. He looked at me and said conspiratorily, "Rumour has it that this is the last dance." Being as it WAS the last dance I said, "sure, since it IS the LAST dance." As we began the contra he said, "Well, I just want to be honest. It was a rumour that this was the last dance, but I started the rumour. So it might NOT be the last dance, but I made it up so it isn't a lie. I just wanted to dance with you so I started the rumour."

R U KIDDING ME??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????