This was before:

Istanbul has by far thrown me the hardest days of my entire life. How much can a girl take? How much does God ask of me? And how long do you live somewhere before you give up? How much can your heart break before it can't fall into any more pieces? And how many times do you glue the pieces together? What will I be like when all of this is over? I'm not a person who gives up and if I were to give up it would be now, but if I did I would fly home tomorrow. If life is like this EVERY day, do I want to live abroad anyway? My heart hearts so much that I would love nothing more for my feet to land firmly on US soil and eat something American. I would say goodbye to Istanbul; the city that hurt my heart. Today one of my friends ended our friendship via instant message. Wow, has the world come to that? I am so unworthy to her that she can't even do it in person? The lack of respect is astonishing. That's her hand in the photo, with my hand, we'll never have another photo. Do you know the word she ended it over? Rude. I called her rude for making fun of me and henceforth deleted my blog entry. This was too much for her, and with no explanation from me, she's decided to end a friendship. Should you blog about something like this? Probably not BUT she ended things over instant message, at least to me that means that it doesn't mean that much to her. So, please pray for me as I search for a new flat. Through it all I have God, an amazing family and wonderful friends. As one of my friends said; it is her loss. and it is.