Have you ever?
...read someone's post and not known how to respond, but wanted to? I recently read a post on a woman's blog where she had recently had a miscarriage, as in December 2009. She POURED out her soul and I felt her anguish. I felt tears rise, and I felt a strong desire to run into Gooner's room, gather her in my arms, and cry. I have never experienced losing a baby and I pray I never do. I wish no one had to. I don't know what she is going through, but I can imagine. I remember what is was like to rub my belly dreaming of my baby within, I know what it was like to labor for her, and I know what it is like to smile into her sweet face. I can only imagine what it feels like to have that snatched away; the sorrow I would feel. So what DO you say when you don't know WHAT to say? Or do you say anything at all? Do you pass on the blog because you don't relate and you don't have to? And, does a comment from a random person even matter at all. I have no idea. Yet, at the same time I LOVE random comments. But if I were truly hurting maybe I wouldn't want that. And generally when someone leaves a comment on this here blog I head over to that persons blog and check it out. Is that woman who lost her baby going to pop over here and see this blog full of this
14 comments:
I think that it's important to remember that no one on this earth has ever had the same experiences--I believe that sometimes when we say, "I know just how you feel!" than we can hurt the other person, because even if we've encountered something like their situation, we've never been in the exact hurt or problem that they have. Then on the flip side, if we've never had anything even closely related to their grief, it's hard to convey honest sympathy. What I try to do is really read and really listen to what the person is saying and then base my comment off of what I would want someone to say to me if I was in that spot. I usually end up praying for them too, and tell them that. I'm no expert, but that's just what I do.
God Bless!
--Hannah
http://manyrandommusings.blogspot.com
I say that even when you don't know what to say, you should always offer an encouraging word. I have "friends" who instead of at least saying something will just say nothing, because they claim they don't know what to say. Even when you don't know what to say, you can't go wrong with an encouraging scripture, or something. At least for me, but you're right. Everyone is different. However, as a Southerner, "Bless your heart" goes a long way. :)
I'm hoping to take you up on your hug offer before...oh, I don't know, Christmas? :)
This is a hard one. I sturggle with this. I'll be checking back for what other people suggest.
I would leave a comment for her. I have had to deal with watching a lot of people grieve for their babies in my Vasa Previa email group. I always say that I can only imagine how it must hurt and that I'll pray for them. I think that's all we can do sometimes.
Id assume there will be a combination of sadness and happiness if she were to read this post. Sad for what happened to her, but happy that you were able to give birth to such a cute girl. very bitter sweet for her Im sure.
I hear ya, I've struggled with that too... I hate reading something that people have labored to put out there, and then walking away without acknowledging that I've read it... part of the blog world that people forget is the importance of comments, otherwise it's just the writer saying things to the world... comments make it a conversation. So, with rare exception I figure letting them know that this random person is sending up a prayer for strength for them, or whatever. I try to avoid being "the Lord has a plan for your life in this" because most Christians know that, and it seems like that would be really frustrating to hear over and over again... but a simple acknowledgement along the lines of "read this, was so touched by it. Will pray for strength for the day and peace for you." certainly can only encourage.
Also, you are welcome to Blog Stalk me anytime... I LOVE getting comments on old posts. :-)
Having gone through this myself, I have to say that comments are nice. Nothing can take away the pain but to know that others care means a lot. Like LeAnna said, a Bible passage can be encouraging and if you really mean it, let the person know you are praying for her. I have had a family member not even acknowledge the fact that I lost another child - that really stings!
You can never go wrong letting someone know you care! :)
i feel the exact same way. i never know what to say... i usually just thank the Lord for the fact that only He can bring comfort to their anguish.
I think we've all wondered this...but I think anyone would be glad for a kind word, AND a prayer!
I remember when my mom went through that, she just wanted people to show they cared. A simple word of encouragement, I think would go a long way. Such a tough thing to face. :(
I guess I feel like if someone put it on the internet, they wouldn't be opposed to getting kind comments. Usually, I try to go with something general, like "I'm so sorry for your loss" or "I'm thinking of you."
I appreciate random comments, whether it's advice, or just saying "hey i'm reading and I feel for ya." Yours on my blog when I was going through a rough time a couple weeks ago didn't go unappreciated. It's nice to know there are compassionate people out there :)
That is a hard one. Like so many have already said, just letting the person know you are thinking about them and praying for them can mean more than you could ever imagine. Just ask God to give you the words...I find the way He says things is always best (:
XOXO
Michele
Oh this is soooo hard...I'm one who doesn't know what to say. I'm not good with words, in person or online. But that doesn't mean I don't care.
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