What makes a mother a Mother?

Moving to Texas has been mostly wonderful. Why just mostly? The mostly is due to humidity, or the lack thereof in the Lone Star State. This has caused MUCH belly itching. The belly itch I THOUGHT was causing stretch marks... much to my chagrin. But I was willing to take this last punch for mommyhood and realized I might never wear a string bikini again; oh wait, I've NEVER worn a string bikini. Despite that my belly itched folks, Like OUT OF CONTROL. I felt like bugs are crawling and wriggling and eating me ALIVE, I wanted Gooner OUT! But, being as this is my FIRST pregnancy, I did not realize that this type of itching was NOT normal, that I did not have psycho stretch marks, but did indeed have a rash. Mom bought me a Cherry Limeade Sonic Drink - which GREATLY helped my disposition - and some creme. Thank heavens for numbing creme. It feels sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.

So it bothers me when nurses ask me if I'm ready to be a Mom. Really? Cause I'm PRETTY sure if I didn't have my daughter taking up what FEELS like permanent residence in my midsection, I'd be rash free and FINE! Madam nurse, what qualifies me to be a mother? Don't I take prenatals for my daughter? Don't stretch marks, rashes, all the changes that breast feeding entails, morning sickness, backaches, headaches, massive intakes of water, an orange nasty glucose screening, multiple punctures, bad doctors, and SMALL hospital gowns count? OH wait, I'm not a mother until after I go through labor... is that it? No MRS. NURSE "welcome to mommyhood" began when I couldn't get out of bed without shoving a wheat thin in my mouth and sipping ginger ale...

Welcome to Daddyhood began for Q when I told him, from my side of the bed, that I didn't have any crackers...